Last week I posted on my Instagram that I was reading Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be by Rachel Hollis. First of all, I am an incredibly slow reader because honestly I am so tired at the end of the day I usually can only to get through a chapter before I’m sleep reading (you know the eyes bobbing open and close trying to read each word but not actually retaining anything). So, I am only through chapter 4 but can already say I love this book and would recommend it to any lady out there. Each chapter is titled a lie that we tell ourselves, Chapter 4 is “I’m better than you”. I got out my pen and started underlining things I wanted to share, because, especially in motherhood it seems judgement and competition soar and frankly, I really don’t understand why…
I am not innocent of judging others, and you aren’t either. Heck, you may even be judging me for starting a blog, thinking what does she know… First of all, I’m just doing this for me because I enjoy it and I find writing my thoughts, inspirations, and feelings to be very therapeutic, but more on my why later.
I judged a mama walking with her kids the other day… and I immediately hated myself for it. She was walking with 3 or 4 kids, one was in the stroller the others were running and riding bikes slightly ahead of her. I was driving towards them, and she was pushing the stroller and hit the curb head on so the child inside flew out onto the sidewalk. I said to my husband “oh geez, poor baby!! Buckle her in the stroller!” As the words came out of my mouth I realized I was passing judgment on her and hated myself for doing so. I then laughed because the child was clearly fine and if I’m honest, how she flew out was kind of amazing. I then tried to think of something positive about that mama instead, “well she’s outside walking and playing with her kids, her kids must really enjoy that. I need to do that more.” I can be so ignorant sometimes, but like I said the other day in my Perspective post, I’m a work in progress. “Our Judgement keeps us from connecting in deeper, richer ways because we’re too stuck on the surface-level assumptions we’ve made” – Rachel Hollis So, mamas lets stop judging each other and decide to think something positive about that person instead when we inevitable do anyways. Last thing on judgment, If you’r friends gossip and talk behind others backs, first of all I promise they do it to you too, and remember you are who you surround yourself with so look for women that lift others up instead of tear them down.
Now if we are all being honest , all of us have competitiveness in us right? When and where you choose to channel that competitiveness though can honestly determine your level of happiness. If your always looking at how green your neighbors grass is then you’r neglecting your own grass. Plus your neighbors grass my look green on the outside but how the inside of the house behind that door looks, you don’t actually know. I used to be very competitive with friends and family but somewhere down the line that changed for me. I only compete with myself now, trying to be better than I was the day before, Some days that’s pretty easy because I was a brat the day before.
I think at some point in our lives, we all have “that person”. You know who I’m talking about, the person that we look at and while you may barely know them or maybe you love them to pieces but somehow they make you feel worse about your situation, not intentionally ( I would sure hope) but just because you want what they have. I had a friend like that, every time I saw her I would just look around in envy at her life. I would leave feeling happy I got to see her but crappy about my own life. Honestly, for so long were just at such different seasons of life and I’m sure everything wasn’t roses for her either but I didn’t see like that at that time. When you stop and can genuinely be happy for others, I’m not talking that fake happy “I’m happy you got the promotion, that I also interviewed for and clearly didn’t get.” I’m talking genuinely happy, life changes for you. You wake up one day and realize you are actually happy exactly where you are and when that happens, your friendships flourish and you realize you found your tribe. “Your tribe is out there, and if you haven’t found it yet, I’d challenge you to consider that maybe your people come in a different package than you though they might.”- Rachel Hollis
Book I’m referring to and you should buy 😉
(Image linked- just click it)