Ryder was dedicated at Church on Sunday, as a gift they provided us 936 Pennies, the pennies made me cry. Let me explain…
The 936 Pennies represent every week from when he was born until he turns 18. Every week your supposed to move a penny over to a new jar. Its a visualization of how much time you have vs. how much time has already passed. Its a visualization of the time you spent and the time you still have to spend with your child. Some weeks it maybe the reminder that I need to make that penny worth more than I did, but I hope I make each penny moved over worth more than the last.
Ryder turns 2 today, which means I need to remove 104 pennies. 104! I don’t know if my heart can handle removing 104 pennies from that jar, never to return. The amount of time I have with Ryder is always a trigger for me, the thought of it makes me cry 100% of the time. I just want to pause time.
While I don’t think being a parent ends at 18, It was a realization how short of time I have to guide him before it’s his responsibility to make decisions. You may have heard about Pampers #puregoals Campaign, Chrisy Teigan is the spokeswomen for it, its a campaign where moms and dads share the lengths they go to provide the best for their children. It’s a great campaign and I know I personally would walk to the end of the earth and back for my child. I think being conscious of what you put on your child’s skin and in their bellies is very important. However, I think how you treat them, speak to them , and teach them is what is actually carried with them into adulthood. It wont matter if they ate chicken nuggets and easy mac more than they should, or if I sprayed the full of toxins sunscreen on in a hurry one day. When he is an adult and has a family of his own, I want to look back and think I really did make the most of the time we spent together and I did my job to raise a good man.
These are the ideals Kyle and I hope to instill in Ryder:
***Please remember this is just one mamas goals, based on my own personal experiences and by no means does this post contain blanket statements that are meant for every family in every circumstance on every continent in the world. These are simply our parenting goals***
- Think for himself. This is a big one for us, we don’t want him to just follow the crowd. He is incredibly strong willed and knows exactly what he wants and is not easily persuaded to do things he doesn’t want to do. While this can be incredibly difficult at times as his parent, I hope he holds on to this quality as he grows.
- Have Confidence. This goes along with #1 in a lot of ways. I know to think for yourself you have to have confidence in yourself first. I did not grow up with much confidence, and it honestly prevented me from growing into my best self earlier. I hope building confidence in Ryder earlier will allow him to see his potential earlier in life.
- Love Unconditionally. Don’t give up on people when they disappoint you. Love people exactly as they are and don’t set expectations on them. Give love and hugs, even when it’s hard to. The love you build will grow stronger and deeper than you thought possible.
- Say sorry and forgive. Don’t be overly Prideful, learn to apologize when your in the wrong. No one is perfect and being able to admit and apologize when your at fault, builds character. Again, no one is perfect so being able to forgive (truly forgive and move past it) can teach you to Love unconditionally (see #3)
- Have faith. Have Faith in yourself, humanity and God. Pray when times are tough and when times are good. Believe in something higher than yourself.
- Stay Curious. Another big one for us. We want Ryder to ask why… why is this the way it is ? Should it be different? We want him to find his own answers. Know there’s always something more to learn.
- Do it Right. Don’t be lazy and rush through tasks, but take the time and have the patience to do it right the first time. Having a strong work ethic, gives you a strong foundation to accomplish big dreams.
- Don’t Yell. Pretty self explanatory. It’s easy to just raise your voice in attempt to get your point across or express your anger. That’s not a positive way to communicate and usually is more damaging. Talk through things in a respectful manner.
- Be Strong and Resilient Life will undoubtedly throw you curve balls “…Sadly, it’s true, that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.” – Dr.Suess. Being able to pick yourself back up after you fall or “unslumping yourself” as Dr. Seuss says is important skill in life. You choose your reactions and actions, only you.
- Be Kind – Build Others up. In a world where you can be anything, be kind. Show compassion to others. I hope Ryder remembers he has no idea how someone else’s life is going so chooses to be a positive light and encourage others.
- Be Honest This one really shows a persons character. “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters, cannot be trusted in important matters”- Albert Einstein. Be truthful and honest, enough said.
I would love to hear your #puregoals what goals you have as a parent and what ideals you hope to instill in your little ones.