Marriage: Choosing you everyday

There is something about going to a wedding that makes you reminisce about your own wedding and marriage.

A few months ago we spent a weekend back in Dallas for a close friends wedding. I LOVE weddings, honestly I love any large family and friend gathering but when it’s surrounded by Love… well my heart explodes.

Kyle was the best man in this particular wedding and during the ceremony I looked over at him and thought of our wedding day and how much has changed in our lives since that day and how much more has changed since we started dating 11 years ago. Then I thought how incredibly blessed I am to have a man like that as my husband.

When you start dating someone at 19 years old and are still going strong and still crazy in love at 25 (ok fine 31, whatever) I wondered to myself why do we seem to be “making it” as a couple?

19 year old us

I believe there’s lots of reasons we have a strong marriage but above all it’s a choice. You have to choose to love you partner everyday. Love them despite the challenges your faced with, love them through the tough times and the good times. When challenges arise, and they will, you have to choose to hold on to each other and get through it together. Out of all the 7.7 Billion people in the world (as of November 2018, I looked it up) you chose this one person to spend your life with, to carry storms with, to rejoice in good times with. Keep choosing them everyday.

These are a few things I believe are what keep our relationship strong. Please share in the comments what keeps your relationship strong.

1. Choosing Love- you choose to make it work, choose each other and your love every single time.

2. Respect- plain and simple. Respect each other in all forms. Respect each other’s wishes, dreams, emotions, fears, faults, etc. You may not always agree with each other but you must still respect each other.

3. Fight Fair- This goes along with respect. Its inevitable, you will have an argument/ fight from time to time. Never ever, get physical or throw things. Don’t say things just to hurt the other person, because you can’t take it back. Fight fair, be adults and talk through it respectfully.

4. Date each other – make an effort to take time for just the two of you to spend quality time together. Go on a date , have a date night at home after kids go to bed. Make time for just couple time.

5. Take time for you- you can’t be the best spouse if your not taking care of yourself too. Make the time to do things you enjoy and things that help you recuperate to be the best you.

6. Communication- this is the one you probably hear the most. Communication is key in marriage. How you communicate with your spouse is different than how you communicate with your children, your parents , your colleagues, each person has a communication style you have to master your spouses.

7. Know their love language- not sure what I’m talking about? You can take the quiz here. Knowing what makes your spouse feel loved can be a game changer.

8. Support each other- Kyle and I are dreamers through and through. We both dream of big thing for life and at different times and in different ways one of us has to step up and support the other person to allow dreams to fruition. Support your partners dreams.

Unfortunately there will likely be tough times when your spouse or you are struggling/ hurting, it’s an important moment in your relationship because how supportive you/ they are can make your relationship grow stronger or tear it apart.

9. Don’t put expectations on each other. this can be challenging for some couples because it’s so easy to do. When Kyle comes home from work I don’t ask him where the money is and he doesn’t ask me why there’s still a sink full of dishes. We don’t put expectations like that on each other, the only expectations is that the home we’ve built is a place of love and comfort. Expectations is a joy killer.

10. Laugh together! You have to have fun and laugh together often or you’ll just start to feel stagnate. So say the stupid dad joke, playfully make fun of each other, tickle, whatever it is that keeps your partner laughing.

Above all keep choosing joy, choosing love and choose each other, every day!

-xoxo Michelle

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