So I’ve been MIA for almost a year now, you either didn’t notice or was wondering what happened to me.
I debated if I should even bother writing a post or just let it go. I decided to go ahead share so that maybe I can just stop having the internal conversations in my head over it.
December 24th 2018 we found out I was pregnant again, yay! We were ecstatic and so excited for this new addition. I started brainstorming all the blog posts and Instagram posts I could do being pregnant. Once we got home from spending the Holidays in Dallas, The extreme fatigue hit me like a brick wall. I could barely stay awake all day, take care of a toddler, still keep house livable, everyone fed and manage my work from home job. So, my Instagram and blogging world just abruptly stopped. I attempted to at least get on stories every day and say something until the first trimester was over and I could be a functioning human again.
First trimester came to an end and I was finally not extremely exhausted everyday, and thought “ok I can get back to it.” Then I got a horrible head cold that took almost a month to move past. I was too sick to even think about Instagram and Blogging. I was just trying to survive, ok maybe that’s a little dramatic but that’s how it felt some days.
During these 4 months of being away from posting everyday on Instagram and writing a weekly blog post I started to feel or hear a little voice telling me “Did you actually miss it?” “Why do you feel a weight was lifted off you?” and things alike. I knew I couldn’t come back until I understood these thoughts and feelings towards something I started as a passion project, something I was supposedly doing for fun.
I realized I started making blogging and Instagram my “job” something I had to get done, giving myself deadlines and stressing if I didn’t meet them. It was no longer my passion project but a job I created for myself. So silly!
If I’m being honest, I stopped doing something I enjoyed because I put too much pressure on it. Well that’s also silly!
Part of my internal struggle coming back was that the single most import thing in my life currently is my family and I didn’t want to forget that. How do I keep them the priority and give them attention they deserve, get my work done, keep a house, and find time to blog? I’m only one women, one already very tired women. After much consideration, I decided I have to take care of me too and do more of what makes me happy aswell.
So, I will be blogging again. When I want to and posting on Instagram, when I want to.
I need to do this blog world of mine when it feels right and I feel I have something to share, not just to meet a deadline I set for myself.
Obviously a lot has happened since last January so I’m excited to catch you up , stay tuned.